*innnnnhale & exxxxxxhale* wow what a week, only two days of classes with one of which was just the first day, therefor doesn't actually count, made for a long week. H left on Wednesday to work out of town, which is not even a close test as to what it will be like when he is really gone. So of course every time I get a text or get to make a call I think about how I won't be able to do that when he is gone, that is going to be so weird and on many days so hard. He's my support system and gives me the encouragement I need to get through tough days at school. He's who I tell my stories to, who I complain to about stupid stuff no one else wants to hear about. I even thought about texting him anyway all the things I would normally tell him during the day and at the end of the day write him about it all. People do weird things and I should know weird. So why not? I know that with the pending certain time of the month I'm going to be all weepy but piled on top of H being gone, it being frigid cold outside and my first week of classes not leaving me feel so great, I'm really kind of a mess right now.
I don't know why this semester has me all worked up, I mean on one hand I should be thankful that I'm going to be so busy that I won't have time to actually miss H, on the other I'm upset that I'm not going to get to spend what time we have left together doing fun things. For one I'm nervous about my college algebra class, algebra is not a strength of mine, give me just about anything else, but I love this professor so I think I'll be ok, I just have to accept the fact that I may not pull a 4.0 GPA this semester. I'm going to start that work tomorrow. My guitar class isn't going to be too bad I don't think, I'm still nervous about playing in front of others, again I won't have H there to hug me when it's all over. My government class is what left me feeling ill after class was over Thursday. I'm a good note taker, but he was going way too fast. One of the girls next to me said he was known as "killer miller" because he is such a hard professor *sigh*. I am taking a few online classes as well and they are just killing me, my college success professor can't keep our weekly assignments straight, and has us doing busy work. My Texas history professor has so many rules and format requirements for the homework assignments, which only consist of terms and their significance so it isn't anything difficult, but he has a sentence requirements as well, really? I guess I'll turn in my homework for the week and see just how harsh he is. Ya that's probably enough whining I think I'll just call it a day, boo.
♥ g
That's one of the things that got me while R was gone. Having no one to tell all the stupid random things to throughout the day. Yes, I could write him and tell him, but it wasn't the same. A couple of days, I couldn't even get myself to write just because of the fact that it wasn't the same. He wouldn't have known the difference because they happened to be saturdays so mail never went out yet anyways. So I'd write about the previous day as if I never skipped it.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a hard thing to get used to. I had Eddie there, but that wasn't the same either. I didn't think he'd care to hear about random bullshit about my day. Eventually, he started asking when he noticed I was a bit Too quiet haha. I think it's good that you are in school before he leaves. All of that will definitely keep you busier than I was! All I had was the bagel shop job and that just wasn't enough. I'll probably be going to school soon myself so if R happens to deploy, I'll have that. And I know it's not the same, but I just want you to know you can always tell me about your days whenever you need to just talk. We're also only 3ish hours away, so you are welcome to come here, or I can easily make a trip out there! Chippy seems to do well with company! She's already sort of accepted Bennett on the second time he's been here! Although I think that's because he won't pay any attention to her so, being the female that she is, she came out to make sure he saw that she was trying to avoid him LOL!
But anywho, as someone who's been there, done that, got the hoodie (t-shirts are so overrated!), nothing you could say or do will be weird to me! (I've probably already done it!) So don't hesitate to talk to me about anything and everything you want/need to talk about! And I'll give the best advice or reply I can muster up =)
thank you <3 <3
ReplyDelete