keepin' it real

I never feel up for writing after a blah day, but if I only write on happy, exciting days it wouldn't reflect a true recollection of this point in my life. So here I am.

After finding out just how bad of teachers I had in HS (ok I'll take 25% of the blame) when it came to algebra (seriously cannot fathom how I have never heard of these terms)nI have elected to take a lower level algebra. What a slight blow to my self-esteem, however any class that causes me to sob like I did today, is clearly not worth it. So I will attempt to get up early tomorrow and hope that I can get one of the very few seats left, in one of the dozens of intermediate algebra classes. I guess I should feel a little better about completing a weeks worth or work already in two of my other classes.

I never imagined that this king size bed could ever feel this small, yes small. I taught the girls to sleep lengthwise, by putting their pillow pets in bed, unfortunately now when they flop around they make a full 180 turn, head on their pillow, to head next to mine. They are such good therapy though, I love how sweet they are. They really do make a bad day better, but not the way H does.

I miss him but I know that this is nothing. We have 50 days left as of today in a few hours we'll be down to 49, that's 7 weeks. I have failed to even think about all that is between now and then., Valentine's Day, my birthday.  Someone in class said "well at least you get to see him on your birthday" I hadn't looked at it like that, what a much better perspective on it. Still him leaving that day just makes me sad.

♥ g 

Week One is Over

*innnnnhale & exxxxxxhale* wow what a week, only two days of classes with one of which was just the first day, therefor doesn't actually count, made for a long week.  H left on Wednesday to work out of town, which is not even a close test as to what it will be like when he is really gone. So of course every time I get a text or get to make a call I think about how I won't be able to do that when he is gone, that is going to be so weird and on many days so hard. He's my support system and gives me the encouragement I need to get through tough days at school.  He's who I tell my stories to, who I complain to about stupid stuff no one else wants to hear about.  I even thought about texting him anyway all the things I would normally tell him during the day and at the end of the day write him about it all. People do weird things and I should know weird. So why not?  I know that with the pending certain time of the month I'm going to be all weepy but piled on top of H being gone, it being frigid cold outside and my first week of classes not leaving me feel so great, I'm really kind of a mess right now.

I don't know why this semester has me all worked up, I mean on one hand I should be thankful that I'm going to be so busy that I won't have time to actually miss H, on the other I'm upset that I'm not going to get to spend what time we have left together doing fun things.  For one I'm nervous about my college algebra class, algebra is not a strength of mine, give me just about anything else, but I love this professor so I think I'll be ok, I just have to accept the fact that I may not pull a 4.0 GPA this semester.  I'm going to start that work tomorrow.  My guitar class isn't going to be too bad I don't think, I'm still nervous about playing in front of others, again I won't have H there to hug me when it's all over.  My government class is what left me feeling ill after class was over Thursday.  I'm a good note taker, but he was going way too fast.  One of the girls next to me said he was known as "killer miller" because he is such a hard professor *sigh*.  I am taking a few online classes as well and they are just killing me, my college success professor can't keep our weekly assignments straight, and has us doing busy work.  My Texas history professor has so many rules and format requirements for the homework assignments, which only consist of terms and their significance so it isn't anything difficult, but he has a sentence requirements as well, really?  I guess I'll turn in my homework for the week and see just how harsh he is.   Ya that's probably enough whining I think I'll just call it a day, boo.

 

♥ g

Spring Semester Day 1

I love the first day of the new semester.  This semester started in a sweet and memorable way.  H took me to class and even got a "first day" pic for my mom, she loved it.  I haven't had anyone take me to class since we had bad weather back in high school.  This was also our first day of sharing a car.  Let's just say that both of us had our own car at 15, perhaps just a little spoiled.  So this could be interesting = )

Anyway, classes, first day of classes went well.  I definitely have a variety this semester for which I am thankful.  The class I had the most apprehension about was guitar, yes I play, no I won't play in front of others.  So I thought what a better way to get over it and learn more.  I was quite excited after watching the professor and getting a feel for his teaching style, then I was completely let down when I found out that we can't use electric guitars.  Neither H nor I have acoustic guitars. What. A. Bummer. Then it occurred to me that I might just be able to get a used acoustic guitar for about the price of an ill-written textbook, that I will ultimately only be able to sell back for a fraction of the price I paid.  Not that the bookstore sells guitars but I do have financial aid coming to me, so the wheels started turning.  I decided to negotiate in a mild, persuasive, feminine manner, (call it what you want) to my professor that if I could use my electric for a few more weeks, that I would get an acoustic before we got too deep into the semester and I'd make sure to keep up.  He was more than agreeable.  Now how much is this going to cost? Is this even possible?

I'm finally getting around to taking college algebra, not because I need to take it, but because I want to take it.  I love the professor and her manner of teaching, she wants you to learn and understand the material, rather than just getting through a chapter and testing over it.  How do I know this? Because I attempted to take her class online, however for those of you who remember, it ended very very badly for me.  We are going to just move on and far, far away from that.  I contemplated returning the text book and purchasing just the online version, well for only $35 more I'll keep my sanity and comfort in the real pages of a math book. 

I was informed that I was probably in the wrong government class for Texas requirements and was excused to go to the registrar and "tell them that they were going to put me in the other class even if it's closed, because they didn't do their job to advise me" (I like this professor already).  This was great and all, however I saw the line for advising, I would have been there all day. I opted to just stay put.  It doesn't really matter since I am pretty confident I'm not graduating with a bachelors in the state of Texas anyway, so they can argue all they want with surrounding states that they have their courses in the wrong order.

Is it 2:15 yet? I'm starving, stupid idea to skip breakfast.  My ADD gets way worse when I'm feeling faint. H was there to pick me up and pitched the guitar idea.  Although food was the priority, we happened to pass a Guitar Center on the search for something to eat. Yay!!!  Chick-fil-A saves the day and then we are off to the greatest toy store ever!  This Guitar Center was HUGE...oh...my...gee.  I had to send a "lookie where we are" pic to my nephew.  I was totally thrown off the mission first by the hundreds and hundreds of beautiful guitars on the wall, then by the single bubble gum pink fender...*SQUEEEEEEL* at this point H calls his super knowledgeable dad and starts the intense conversation in the acoustic room about what to get me.  I ventured off on my own and found out that Guitar Center has layaway, oh sweet music to my ears.  Do I need the pink Fender, that's debatable, do I want it, OH YES, more than I want another Coach and cheaper than another pair of UGGS.  I mean LOOK at her...

I love Lola, my Daisy Rock electric, don't get me wrong.  I've never liked H's Fender Stratocaster, because it doesn't fit me, but THIS Fender fits...Oh ya we are here for an acoustic guitar...where's my husband?  I find H back in the acoustic room still on the phone with his dad and he hands me a beautiful classical guitar, used but at a great price.  The sales guy who had carried my pink Fender all over the store for me, as I wandered, came in and showed me another guitar and it was black, and felt good and just a little more.  I was smitten.  When I placed it in position I thought H was going to die of embarrassment, you see when you play classical guitar it's rather unnatural and looks odd to anyone who is not familiar.  I was thankful for the sales guy bouncing over and showing him how it's done, I didn't look or feel so stupid.  This is a whole new avenue for H and his Dad, neither play a classical with nylon strings. I'm kind of excited that I will be able to show him something new = ) So I told H they had layaway, and he said let's do it *happy dance, goofy smile* So yup a fabulous deal and she'll be all mine in about 3 weeks.  Here's the kick in stomach, the guitar WAS less than the average I paid per text book for my other classes.  Feeling very good about it.  Not sure Mr. Cash would appreciate a girl guitar being named after him, but hey, he's not around to complain is he?  Meet "JC" = ) Did I mention we have to perform in a concert in April? Oh ya, taking this on vi et animo style... ♥ g

Illegal Interview Questions....that I will answer

· What does your husband do?

"currently he has his own business, but is getting to spend a lot of time at home right now"

· Do you own or rent your home?

"rent, I've lived in a neighborhood where we owned our home and where I hated half the people on my street, I like to keep my options and exits readily available"

· How old are you?

"30 and don't feel a day over 21, except the mornings after I play like I'm 21"

· Do you have any disabilities?

"yes diagnosed with ADD, and self diagnosed with OCD, so yes I have a lot of things going on at once, that will eventually get done, and you better believe they will all be damn near perfect, or I'll be busy redoing them"

· What is your religion?

 "for all formal purposes I am catholic, however I am looking more into meditation retreats and Buddhism, almost weekly"

· Whom did you vote for in the last election?

 "McCain, yet I have kept an open mind thus far"

· Do you plan to have a family?

 "we tried, it wasn't in God's plan, so we have 2 dogs that we tend to spoil, yet in comparison to many people  we know who have dogs, they are all WAY crazier than we are..."

· Have you ever been arrested?

 "yep, but it's a sealed record, when they asked if I was affiliated with any gangs, I cried and told them, just youth group, they didn't have the heart to actually put us in a cell"

· Where were you born?

 "in El Reno, OK...no jokes, I'm lucky to be alive apparently"

· What is your ethnic background?

 "lots of Irish and Scottish, thank goodness for strong bloodlines and red hair, otherwise I'd think my temper and ability to consume liquor would be cause for therapy, or rehab"

· To what clubs or social organizations do you belong?

 "just my sorority alumnae association, oh and PETA, but I wear fur and eat meat, oh and I AM going to hunt in Minnesota this year"

Have a question? I'd love to answer it = )

ha ha ♥ g

The Serious Paperwork...

Not much to report today, DEP meeting is tomorrow, perhaps I'll have something to share.  I'll be spending the rest of my evening typing up power of attorney and advanced directives for H and I both.  Bleh...better to have them done rather than leave our parents or each other to make those tough decisions.  It's a good idea for everyone to get them done.  Do you have them?

♥ g

10 weeks

Well today marks 10 weeks until H's official ship date.  I realize that he may ship sooner than that, but until the new contract is done I'll go with it.  We have 10 weekends left to spend together, which makes me a little sad.  We have so much to do that I am realizing it isn't all going to get done.  That's ok, I have amazing friends and family that I know will be there to help me out.  I'm just going to spend time with him and have fun, making every day worth while.

So that is all I have today!

♥ g

Send me those ideas I requested in my last post!!!

Give me a project...

Many of you who know me well know that the more I have going on, the happier I am. Yes I am one of those people who love to have an over-flowing plate.

I already have several things I'm going to devote time to while H is gone at boot camp. Like catching up scrapbooks, doing some things for H that I can't talk about yet, because he reads this, and of course writing him everyday (more than once I imagine).

For some 8-9 weeks may seem that it isn't a big deal, well for me and for us it is a big deal. We are both very much attached to each other and love spending A LOT of time together and well H is my best friend. So I'm looking for something to do that challenges me in some way, so give me some ideas and of course I'll post about it here!

Can't wait to read the ideas!

♥ g