03 December 2010

is it bedtime yet?

What a long day...all the insanity of staying up waiting to enroll then enrolling half asleep, I go and change my schedule anyway...oh well. I'm not taking french after all, H convinced me that it may be taking on too much, a foreign language online? Eh he is probably right and it had him concerned I'd stress out over it, so done. Instead I'm taking another government class and guitar, ha ha yes guitar. I'll be rocking it two days a week, with of course my Hello Kitty guitar picks, AND getting a grade for it = ) pouvez-vous dire de plus amusant que le fran├žais?

Earlier tonight:
H-"you were mean last night"
G-"you're reading my blog again?"
H-*smiles*
G-"then I guess you know I didn't intend to be mean"

Of all the people I thought would read it, he was not one of them. He never read any of the years I wrote in my livejournal...I'm ok with it.  I actually likes that he reads it.  This afternoon something was brought up and that is when I found out he read it, he said he never knew how to get to it before.  (all ya had to do was ask me...I confessed to him that I probably can't tell him things that I can on here, because like I have said before this is my safe place to release it all, but that it was good he was finding out, and that if there was anything he wanted to talk about from the blog to do so.  I know this is healthy for me so perhaps it will be healthy for us too.

We are going to start packing up the pottery barn plates and hopefully get the garage in better order, we HAVE to start getting things to OK before the weather gets bad...oh the lists flying through my head!  I am so tired yet cannot go to sleep because I decided to start washing bedding like an hr ago...the couch is looking cozy right now...

Okay I'm going to print off the "before he leaves for boot camp" list (the one from the Navy) and start our own.

♥ g

yawn...

Oh what a baaaaad night to have insomnia. I ended up staying up way too late and believe the only way I fell asleep because I was so concerned about the sun already coming up. I then some how managed to wake up at 8:30, I mean 0830, (ya I'm working on that) and some how enrolled online, in the dark. WOW...I checked my schedule and I got in to all the classes I wanted it, so I'm impressed and can now add sleep-enrolling to my list of crazy things I can do. *heads back to school website to make sure AGAIN* yep I'm taking a required "Texas" course, History of Texas, College Algebra and French I, 13 hrs, *sigh* now on to make a list or two, three...

I woke back up around 1100 and thought H was mad at me for staying up late. Around 0530 he asked me why I was awake, to which I responded with "that's a stupid question,I can't sleep, why do you ask me that when I can't sleep, it's such a stupid question." *sniffle* he just stumbled back to bed, I wasn't mean but it could have seemed that way with my sleep deprivation. Thankfully it was all in my head, I came out to the living room and curled up with him on the couch, he was sweet and asked me why I was awake...*giggle* really what's with the sleep/awake questions? I just replied with "because" he suggested I get coffee = )

My mom got me a (RED)ISCOVER Starbucks coffee cup for Christmas, well so did my secret santa from the military nesties gift exchange, so to keep the second one or not, the day I got it H said "oh one for me" so today I asked him if he really wanted it (he is partial to my solid blue or black Starbucks cups) he said no he wouldn't really need it, in that "because I won't be here much longer" tone ugh...ok I can get use to this, really I can, until I can admit I can't I'm going to unleash on some lists, and organizing stuff...and maybe some more cleaning.

♥ g

the half way mark

It seems like it was just last week that H went to MEPS and enlisted, however we just past the half way mark till he leaves for BC. Reality is really setting in and I'm just floating through the days now, I don't want to miss him while he is still here, but I find myself doing just that. I think he is starting to feel it too, I get a lot more kisses and he is really enjoying me being rather clingy lately.

I started going through our closet today and H came in and started talking about when he leaves what I can get rid of. He even joked that I can have the whole closet, just pack him up. Being excited about getting the whole closet was completely overshadowed by the fact that when he leaves for BC, he will never be coming back to this apartment. I will be moving our things to IL all by myself. As if being here without him for 9 weeks seemed bad enough, everything I do now is "oh next time H will need these we will be in IL, oh H won't need these again." I am very excited about our new life but at the same time I am so scared that I will just crumble without him here. So many things to consider, like filing taxes this year, I have to file for my student loans, but I can't do his without him here. His company stuff is too much and as for mine, he does my books. All these little things that I didn't think about. 3 months is not long enough. What if he gets to go early? We both are ready to get this going, but at the same time I feel like I need more time. But don't we all...

On a lighter note, I have decided that I am going to need stuffed animals in my bed while he is gone, lots of them...the puppies are too fickle and usually end up on the floor. So I first requested a zebra pillow pet for Christmas...turns out so did everyone else. I have switched it to my birthday wishlist so my mom isn't having to battle moms of 7 year olds to get it for her 30 year old kid...Oh I hope she finds one before March. I think Hello Kitty may invade our apartment in greater numbers than she already has and perhaps I will add more pink as well. I mean whatever makes me happy right?   This gift from my mom makes me insta-smile when I put it on, so ya I may wear it for 9 weeks straight,  it's like my security blanket, on my head, that I can pet it if I want to, and where I get the idea to make a happy place, I can create a home that no one could be sad in, well unless you are the guy from www.kittyhell.com who has become H's hero.   I am hoping for a Hello Kitty toaster or waffle maker for the 9 weeks of living like a single girl again, cold cereal and eggs get old, and ya I will probably eat nothing but breakfast foods, why? Because H doesn't really eat them and so it's things I already cook for one.  Oh and I'm not preparing beef while he is gone either...bleh, so maybe chicken and breakfast foods, I really have to learn how to make coffee before H leaves too...good time to start a list huh?  Oh I love lists...Eh but enough of that.

I was suppose to be able to enroll today, but apparently the college doesn't acknowledge midnight as being December 3...so I have to wait till 8am to enroll...good grief what a bad night to have insomnia.  H asked me what I decided to take (being the 7th year senior that I am) I told him 13 hrs, decided to take french, online...*long pause from H* "are you nuts?"  I told him that it would be fine, in my mind anything to keep me from having to leave my home and something that will very much keep me busy sounded really good to me, I'll (of course) take a history class and a math class in there too, so I'll be happy.  I think I get to graduate (again) and no one will even be there to see me...oh well, first of many things I do on my own I'm sure. Crap who's gonna take pictures...

♥ g